If You Read Nothing Else on this Blog, Read This, Redux

Yes this is a repeat, but a very important one, we feel. But no other post is. So please read on...and if you have already read this one, just skip this one and go to the next one. :)

In our opinion, there are four different elements to a Singles activity that all Singles need in order for them to meet new potential dates. They are as follows:1) The number of people present need to be few enough for the possibility of good conversation to occur freely and consistently.2) Each activity needs to provide new faces as well as familiar faces. In other words, each person going to the activity needs to be able to meet new people, while also having familiar faces to turn to (i.e. "wing-man," or "wing-woman.") 3) All people at the activity need to have something legitimately fun to do, so that everyone has something to talk about besides the typical small talk so common in the "bar scene."In our mutual experience, we have found that these three elements, along with a good attitude, decide to a great degree whether an activity is a success or a failure. Having said that, we have also come to the conclusion that "Game Nights" at some one's home is the quickest, cheapest way to fulfill all of these squares.
Here is how it is done: First, get a house to use. This can be home of one of the singles in your stake, or the home of a willing married family in your stake.
Second, decide who you are going to invite. In order to insure that new people will be present at each of these Game Nights, it is imperative to constantly invite new people. We have found that the best way to do this is to invite the members of your own stake, and those of one other stake within thirty miles of the party. For the next party after that, invite another stake. This can be trickier than it seems. We are assuming that the creators of the Game Night are not Singles Representatives (after all, they have to get permission from several camps in order to put on such an event.) But as a regular single, YOU


don't. But what you do have to do is get the telephone numbers of the singles in whatever stake you are interested in inviting. (We suggest using the telephone and/or snailmail rather than email in order to keep other non-invited singles from showing up in large numbers.) So encourage those who you contact to not go out and invite everyone they know to the event because you only want less than thirty or so people to come to the Game Night. We repeat, you do not want more than thirty people or so at any Game Night. Any more than that, and it becomes a crowd (just like most other unsuccessful activities we have all been to...too many people milling around a room looking at each other all night usually making forgetful, un-fun smalltalk.)
Third, make it cheap and fun by encouraging the guests to bring food and games. And have a great party. We believe you will. We have seen it over and over in our experience, and it consistently works.
Fourth, do it again every month or two with a different stake each time.
Oh, a few other tips for success at the party. 1) Do not have loud music at the party! This means no karaoke machines. Movies are not recommended either. Both serve


as conversation inhibitors. Remember, people really want to talk to each other and have good conversation more than just about anything else you can provide them. 2) If it is kid-friendly, have a room set up for the kids with games, video games, etc.... 3) Let the party go late, if it wants to. Just make sure that the Spirit does not leave. 4)When you plan the party, try to not have it on the same night that some big Singles event is happening. However, don't feel that you have to have your party only on a night that nothing else is happening in the region. (Remember, YOU are what is happening in the region!) 5) For every ten people, there needs to be a separate game provided in a separate room. This means, that you may have two or three games going on at the same time (one in the living room, one in the dining room, and one in the garage, for instance.) 6) After the party, tell all of your friends about it, along with the template that we are describing here.
So, why do we want you to read this post so much? Because we believe that if the singles of the LDS Church make this the standard format for what an activity is (rather than dances, volleyball, Firesides, etc...) then we all have a chance to get
what we want out of activities (a phone number, a date, a friend, and eventually maybe even a spouse.) We believe the reason why so many do not achieve those things from typical activities is that there is usually little opportunity to HAVE ENOUGH LEGITIMATE FUN with a person to ever feel comfortable enough to ask for that phone number. Think about it. If a person cannot figure out if he/she likes a person enough to have a conversation with them, why would they want to put themselves though an entire evening...and all other anticipations a date


can create in someone. In other words, that is what initial conversations are ALL ABOUT, and always have been for that matter. A conversation is a prelude to more, but only if you want more. But how do you know one way or the other when you are in a room of 100 or more people, with the lights low, and the music blaring? Or how do you do that when every small activity you go to consists of the same people you see at every other activity (sometimes the same people you see at Church on Sunday?)
As a last thought, imagine meeting some of these new acquaintances at a dance or Fireside in the near future. You will likely have much better odds of good conversation beyond "great cookies...and punch!"

"The World Ends With a Whimper"

Have you ever wondered why the Church often alludes to the idea that, throughout history, nations and societies who were highly sexualized tended to decline and, for lack of a better word, implode?
There is good reason for this, in my opinion. Consider this: When a society reaches the point that every kind gesture between the sexes is understood as sexual in nature, then interaction is pared down to either acceptance or rejection on sexual terms. In other words, there is no chance for genuine charity and Christlike love, even if that is all that is being offered. So, when a person does reach out in charity and goodwill, he or she is rejected or accepted on sexual terms only. He or she is completely misunderstood, and the rejection is far deeper than a sexual rejection. In essesnce, it is his or her true goodness that is rejected, their very being and good essence, their soul. And what happens to a person who has had one too many such rejections? Do they get mean, apathetic, cynical, or hateful? All of the above?

The next question is how does a society become over-sexualized? Well, I have only a limited idea about past dispensations, but I do know that when television/Hollywood accentuate and highlight such sexual interaction as being the only legitimate way in which men and women communicate, then we are not onlywell on our way, but waist-deep in a hollow mire. The final result can be predicted.
And that is only the beginning. Here is the next chapter of the story: Men get angry at women, and women, men. Men get angry at those jerkey men who are largely to blame for men's sexual reputation (which all men pay for), and women get angry at women for being, well, bitchey (which all women pay for.) So, we have a pissed off, over-sexualized world which can't easily figure out what has gone wrong. And when charity and legitimate goodwill are gone (Christian or otherwise), what is there left but anger, power, greed, and cynicism?
The prophets have told us to not read, view, or say things that accentuate immorality. (And many of us thought that they were somehow only half-serious. But I assure you, they were not.) Consider the famous Wiemar Republic of 1920's Germany. They were so sexualized that at one point some otherwise forgettable scientist created a "spanking machine" for kids to spank each other with... while a practiioner looked on to "scientifically" record the pleasure experienced by both the spanker and the spankee. As far as the Wiemar Republic, the list went on (although they did make some good art during the time period. )

But there was a particular artist that they found promising enough to make their national leader...mustache, anti-Semitism, and all. Yes, it was Adolf Hitler. And within a generation of the 1920's, Germany was, in many ways, leveled.

So, when people are over sexualized, do they go blind, as the old adage portrays? Or do they go deaf and dumb too? Just something to consider the next time you are on the couch and channel-surfing.

Pollyanna! Come Out And Play!

Contrary to popular opinion, there are great and wonderful things about being single. Let's start with how you get to all ways control the remote. (I mean, this is very important.) Plus, you are completely in charge of all financial decisions; making it, spending it, borrowing it. You can sleep on either side of the bed, roll around, and not bump into anyone else. You get to get up in the morning and no one is bothered by your morning breath. When you are going anywhere, you do not have to put up with people telling you to hurry because you will be late. In fact, if you are late, no one really cares.

When you want something exciting to do, there is the local Singles Program for great and exciting activities. Once a month you can go to the dance provided. Now, this is good stuff. Sometimes you have to drive a bit to get there if you do not live in the “big city” because frankly, not enough people know about this fantastic event, so they are kind of limited on where they have it. (Kind of like they get together at the beginning of the year, set the dates down for the 4th Saturday of the month, alternating between two locations if you are lucky, and it's done. Great planning.) Anyway, once you are there, you get to meet the most special people. The cream of the crop, so to speak.

Oh, I forgot the best part! Compared to your local clubs, this dance is quite the deal at only $3! Get outta here! I mean they play all the good music from the 30's, 40's, 50's and 60's. How can you pass this up? (I heard once that they actually had some music from the 80's once but had to get special permission for it, so, keep praying for it to happen again next spring!)

One of the most special things for me is knowing that I can go with my grandma to these things. Quite the bonding experience for us. Going out, checking out the local meat available, comparing notes and making bids. Okay, my grandma does not go with me, but technically she could. She's single and so am I. We are both over 30, so it works. Right?

I just love the food. No I don't. Not really. I lied there. Sorry.

Next we have the monthly fireside. Now, these are very important so put them on your calendar once you get the email telling you the date and time. I mean, the spiritual messages provided just change my life. And knowing I am in a room full of people who are single like me, hearing this beautiful message, well I just do not feel so alone in the world. And then we get cookies afterwards.
I do not let it bother me that men get to see me eating a bunch of cookies that late at night, right before I go to bed. It's what we do at all of our meetings: eat. (I heard someone mention how Mormons are in general more overweight than the average American, but I think they are just jealous of the truth and light we have and made it all up!)

I love going to the temple with the singles, too. I think it is the only time that the women actually sit on the mens side because so many came. Kind of sad that only 8 guys come in comparison to those 80 women. And afterwards, (at 10 pm again,) a few people go out for more food. But this time they have to pay for it at the restaurant. I have done that a few times. It is hard to have a conversation with anyone because it is noisy, you only sit by a few people, and the ratio of women to men makes me simply find a new girlfriend. But, I have done my temple service and participated in the Singles Program as directed by the leadership, therefore, I go home happy.

I left the best for last: the Singles Conference. It's the best because it only happens once a year and they advertise it for like six months, telling you to “mark your calendar” and remember the dates, etc. These things are set up on a general Friday night, Saturday schedule. The last Friday night I went to, they had games planned, like the ones they tell you to play at reunions. The “get to know you” type. Wow. Bet they find them on the internet. I wish I could think up these things. Then Saturday you have maybe a service project, then classes on how to manage your finances, do family history or how to effectively study the scriptures. Very helpful indeed. Then dinner. Yum. I know you might think Mormons only eat, but I assure you, it is not true. Then maybe something that would fall in line with the fireside theme is provided. All of this is leading up to the greatly anticipated.........DANCE!

Yes, friends and neighbors, they combine the best of both worlds at the conference! Fireside and dancing! Woah. We are truly blessed to be members of this community, let me tell you. And I love how they take the food from the whole day and recycle it into the goodies provided at the dance; very frugal. The best thing about the conference dance is that you are almost guaranteed to have more people show up this time. People are more willing to go to a conference and stay for a dance than they are to just go to a dance. So, you might actually meet someone you have never met before. Hey, stranger things have happened. It is a very spiritual and uplifting experience and I for one am glad to be a part of it.


It kind of rounds out my whole life of being single. I get the remote, the dances, and the bed, all to myself. And if I ever feel lonely, I just go to the fridge and medicate the feeling away.

St. Peter At The Gate

Single Man: "I would like to come into heaven."
St. Peter: "Sorry, sir, you cannot come in."
Single Man: "Uhm. Are you sure?"
St. Peter: "Yes, sir, you cannot come in."
Single Man: "But I did my best."
St. Peter: "Sorry, sir, not good enough."
Single Man: "But I really tried."
St. Peter: "Not really."
Single Man: "What more could I have done? What did I not do?"
St. Peter: "You didn't go to the dances."

1 + 1 = 3

Ever been in a relationship in the Mormon Middle Singles Program? Ever noticed how people cannot seem to leave the two of you alone? Ever noticed how people are giving too much unsolicited advice? Ever noticed how those who do not have anything going on in their life take over yours? Ever noticed how those who have no success at having a relationship tell you how to have yours? Ever noticed how those who are uncomfortable with happiness tend to discourage it? Ever noticed how those who know nothing about you tell you what you want and need? Ever noticed how sometimes you just want to run and hide but there is no where to go because we are such a tight knit community? Ever wondered why that budding relationship failed? Ever thought that it was not you or the other person but the jealous people who ruined it? Ever thought that maybe you should keep your mouth shut when you meet someone and turn to the Lord and let it grow naturally, then tell everyone what you two have decided all on your own with the help of the Spirit? Ever wondered how many relationships might have succeeded into great marriages if they were never gossiped about and discussed like the hottest topics? Ever wondered how many relationships you have destroyed through jealousy yourself? I have. I almost ruined one. Luckily, I stepped back and let it grow. I did not let my own low self-esteem ruin someone elses because that would just make me feel worse. Plus, I'd have to repent of it later.

One plus one does equal three when the third person in a relationship is the Lord. If it is your friend, co-worker, or family member, please take into account their own successes and their own opinions. Are they yours? Do they really know what is in your heart? Do you have the vocabulary and the experience at saying precisely what is in your heart so they will not misconstrue anything? Do you have that ability at telling the other side without prejudice? Or is the Lord the only One who knows both your heart and theirs and also knows the past, present and future and what will truly bring you happiness? I say, let the relationship be less crowded so it is not confusing. When you have so many opinions coming at you, you probably forget what yours is and then you forget the tighness in your gut when you speak to your special someone. You forget the butterflies in your stomache when you answer they phone and hear their voice. You lose the special things that are only between the two of you which create a Oneness required for a solid foundation. Make things more simple and trust the only One who can help you. Take a chance. The spirit will tell you if their is aught amiss and protect you if you believe. I know this to be true.

Give yourself a chance. Stop wasting time. Make your own decisions. Know your own heart. I know it's scary, but so is everything the first time you do it. Good luck. Do not tell me how it goes until you know what you want and only ask for my congratulations.

You Wanna Piece Of Me?

I have many roles in my life. Sister, aunt, cousin, niece, grand-daughter, church member, friend, neighbor and mother. As a mother, I have countless sub-roles. A few are: confidant, psychologist, referee, nurse, chafer, director, laundress, instructor, dietitian, maid, gospel doctrine teacher, educator, hall monitor, business manager, sounding board, hair stylist, home decorator, 911 emergency operator, statistician, and wise person on the top of the worlds tallest mountain who has the answer to every question in the form of another thought provoking question.

I fulfill my roles with great joy and happiness because they are fun and exciting and I get satisfaction from doing a good job. This is something women just seem to be able to do, juggling the needs of those around them. Most of us do it naturally and are pretty good at it too.

When I look around at the women who are doing much the same as I, I sometimes see something is different. I look at them and I see a complete WOMAN. Whereas I do not feel like that is a title I carry. I have pondered on this for many weeks and have realized something. Only in the highest degree of the Celestial Kingdom are we able to create worlds and have children. Otherwise we are sexless. That is how I feel now: sexless. I am not speaking only of the act itself, but in every aspect of it. I do not do on right now. I do not grow and progress as I otherwise would if I was married. In essence, I am damned; stopped in my tracks.

I can further my education, secure a good financial future, and raise my children in righteousness. I see that as dusting a spotless house because the guests have not arrived yet and there's nothing for you to do but wait. Marking time as it passes. Every second, every minute, gone forever. Sure, even if they come late you can still have fun, but not as much if they had been earlier.

Maybe I am one of the few who actually admits out loud that my main desire is to find a good man I can love and get married to. If I happen to admit it to another single man, they might freak out and run. Or think just anyone will do for me then. Both are misinterpreting what I am saying. I only admitted that when I date I am looking ahead to serious things and asking if this person can take up a permanent place in my life. I am not using a book or a long list of requirements, nor am I focusing on only that. What I am saying is that when I look, I am looking for a mate, not another “friend”.

I just realized I was getting off the topic. Oops.

Back to my womanhood. I believe that the scripture that talks about the man without the woman and the woman without the man is literal. I am an incomplete woman without “him.” I am incomplete because two cannot become one without the original two. I cannot unlock the door to the Celestial Kingdom without “him.” I cannot fulfill all of my roles in life without “him.” This is not such a bad thing. I have said nothing about my own worth here. I am talking literal. I am stopped somewhere in the middle of my goals if I go solo to the Celestial Kingdom. I need a “him” to go all the way to the top. “He” holds that part of me. He brings it with him to the relationship. He brings my highest abilities in womanhood to me. I can have them in no other way.

If you want to argue with me, fine. But first, I challenge you to go watch couples who are in love, and who respect each other. Look at their faces. Compare them to any single who is NOT in any kind of romantic relationship. See if I am not right. You see, while he brings my highest womanhood, I bring his highest manhood. It goes both ways. I carry within me the piece that can make him more than he could ever be alone. So, I say, “Who wants this piece of ME?” Who wants what I offer?

Going once......

Going twice......

"Why Do You Guys Keep Talking About a Program?"

Good question. Why do we keep talking about the same thing, after all? Well, my answer is that the LDS Singles Program is a necessary entity for LDS singles to get married. In other words, it has a funtion. Suppose the previous statement is wrong, and we really don't need the Singles Program. Do we then also not need any other program (or meeting) in the Church but Sacrament Meeting...since that is where the sacrement is passed and is considered the center of our religion?

We all know better. I mean, don't all of the programs in the Church about fill a certain actual need? Let's list some: Relief Society, Priesthood, Choir, Sunday School, Gospel Doctrine, Gospel Essentials, Young Men/Women, Young Single Adults, Scouts, Compassionate Service, Home Teaching, Visiting Teaching, Missionary Work, FHE, Firesides, Basketball, Daddy-Daughter Camp-outs...I know that there are more, at least on paper.

Do these organizations, classes, and callings exist because we don't really need them? Or do they fill a necessary niche that was discovered long ago and has continued to serve us in some real capacity? Why is it that whenever a group of people begin to complain about the Single Adult Program, eventually somebody says, "Well, it's not the Church's responsibility to get you married." (Who said it was?) Or they say, "You could always go start your own program." Something to that effect. I ask you, would that ever be said of the Scouting Program, or Relief Society?

Then there are those that will tell you that the Singles Program is not a dating service. My response is then to ask them "Then what is it?" I find it very interesting how singles in the Program talk of how we can get members of the opposite sex together, blah, blah... "but it is NOT a dating service." To me this is like saying that Sunday School is NOT a class. Or Relief Society is NOT a women's organization. Choir is NOT about the music.

The next question may be why the Singles Program is not seen as what it assuredly is and was designed to be: a dating service. Is it because of its bad track record? Or is it that some of us have forgotten that we are really trying to find a spouse and not just another collection of friends (nothing against friendship. I am a big supporter of it. Love that friendship.)

Or is because it has become the latest example of "The Emperor's New Clothes?"



In any case, we know we have a long way to go when people who bring up the many disfunctions of the Singles Program get smacked on the hand for it. (But mind you, if we ever did get it fixed those same hand smackers would be the same folks who would then say, "Oh yeah, we've always known that there was a problem. It's about time that program was fixed!") Such is the way of the world sometimes. But as for you singles on the side-lines who do have a problem with your fellow singles who are trying to make the Program better; you should ask yourself whose side are you on, and why do you insist upon working against your own self-interest? Think about it. While you are at it, you might spend a few moments considering what a functional program would look like, and why Singles should (along with the other many responsibilities in their lives) be forced to add the arduous job of forming their own personal "program" (in addition to the official Singles Program) in order to get married in this lifetime. Should they build another Home/Visiting Teaching Organization while they are are at it? Missionary work?
One more thought. Is it the Church's responsibility to get us married? No. But it is the same organization that informs us that in order to get to Heaven we must live a high code of ethics and morals. Married or not. All things being equal, it is a good thing that the Singles Program exists if only to help singles live up to their covenants and testimonies.

Thus on to fixing the program. And to eternal progression. "The honest and faithful will go."

Time, in Its Subtle Forms

I rarely get bored these days. Call it just one more asset to getting older...you get to know yourself better as you get practice getting to know yourself better.
Yes, this is just one more repetitive blog about the Singles Program of the Church. Just one more little blurb about how bad it is. Just one more time waster, maybe.

But that's what happens with time, right? Time itself can be a time waster depending upon how it is spent. Sometimes the things that get done and experienced are just things that were around to get done and experienced. Every moment, day, holiday, year and decade that we are alone is just what it is. It can be good, but alone nontheless. It is that sad and that important...just as it is that unsad and unimportant. How is it for you?

Maybe it is all in how you look at it...until your time is up, or even half-up. Hence, the mid-life crisis.

I think it is all a question of priorities. What are they? Where are they? How much do we really want to see things change? Is it about as much as we want to take a good look at the things that we do in order to make up for the fact that we are alone? Stamp collectioning? ESPN? Scrapbooking? The list is personal, and goes on.

Am I asking each of you who read this to go to your Singles , Ward, Stake and Regional Leaders and ask them for help with the Singles Program? You bet I am.

Am I asking you to start your own (functional) parties at your own homes in order to get people out so you can meet them? You bet I am.

Am I asking you to evaluate what you are really doing with your spare time in terms of what you really, really want in life? Am I asking us all to somehow form a team of caring singles who are determined to get the things we want and needin our own respective regions? Maybe even a support group? You bet I am.

To stop apologizing with platitudes for the way things are? To think bigger and act bigger. Yes! You bet I am.

With all due respect, try not to live up to my expectations....

The Little Red Hen

“Who will help me plant these seeds of love?” said the little red hen.
“Not I!” said the lawyer, too busy and proud to look past the end of his nose.
“Not I!” said the baker, too busy making bread to see what was really valuable in life.
“Not I!” said the beggar, too ashamed of himself to even try.

“Who will help me dung and prune and water my seeds?” said the little red hen.
“Not I!” said the lawyer, too busy with a brief to get his hands dirty.
“Not I!” said the baker, too busy waiting for his bread to rise to do anything else.
“Not I!” said the beggar, too busy seeing his own pain that he could not serve.




“Who will help me harvest my love, now that it has grown? said the little red hen.
“Not I!” said the lawyer, too busy in court, basking in praise.
“Not I!” said the baker, too busy putting his bread in the oven, salivating at the thought of the tasty bread he was making.
“Not I!” said the beggar, too busy moping and feeling sorry for himself.



“Who will help me prepare my love for the feast?” said the little red hen.
“Not I!” said the lawyer, vacationing and basking in the fruits of his labors.
“Not I!” said the baker, taking his bread out of the oven, smelling the aroma of it.
“Not I!” said the beggar, too angry to do anything but complain.

“Who will come and partake of the feast I have prepared out of my love?” said the little red hen.
“I WILL!” said the lawyer, jumping hurdles to get there as fast as he can.
“I WILL!” said the baker, leaving his own bread behind in his eagerness to eat what others have prepared.
And the beggar was too full of hatred to even hear.

The little red hen is a story most often used to get children to be more helpful in doing chores and to show them how much work it takes to actually get something desirable. Too often we take things for granted, only wanting to arrive when the end result, the “good stuff” is on the table. Look at our society and look at how many people, male and female, married and non-married, have the attitude that if someone or something is less than perfect, throw it away because we can go find something better. I see all too often how if someone has certain flaws, “it's a show-stopper.” We forget that we are each a work in progress, a “diamond in the rough” who needs love, nurturing, encouragement and much forgiveness.

Each time I look in the mirror my reflection is there to look at. I do not see what I am most of the time, but the flaws which have been deemed as undesirable, and my heart interprets this to mean I am undesirable. With this throw away attitude, we deny the gospel and what it teaches. With our “okay you are perfect, now change” attitudes, we strangle and suffocate the very love we are hoping to grow. When we look at someone and forget to look underneath the surface, we are passing up the best part.

We went on a trip the other day as a family. We took a long drive. It was winding through the mountains and it was quite beautiful. When we arrived at our destination, my son looked at me shortly after and told me he finally understood that it was the journey that mattered and not the destination. You see, at the “top” it was busy, too many people and it was commercialized. We had just spent two hours in the car, stopping at the breathtaking views and pondered the majesty of Gods creation and ended up at the equivalent of a mall. It was more than a letdown. I felt violated. I could not get away fast enough. Then the beauty could come back into my life.


I think we all need to put more effort into our relationships and be more understanding of how painful life is for each of us. I know in my story it is the little red hen who is offering love and the men are denying it, but it could be as easily written from the other point of view. Often men offer their love and find it is scorned. Often men overlook flaws in a woman and it is seen as weakness when it is a strength; kindness is mocked and put down. As often as not, both men and women have to be something they would not naturally be. We judge each other ruthlessly. We are too hard on each other as a sex, and it goes both ways. We use hammers and pickaxes on each others hearts when pillows and soft gloves are what is necessary. The battle of the sexes was created by the devil and yet we are certain our anger and vehemently shouted abuses are justified. Yet, Christ paid for all those sins. It is just pride which keeps us from letting go and getting off our soap boxes and admitting we were wrong.

I do so now. I have hated men for most of my life. But I have been looking at things differently lately and I find they are now becoming sweet to me. So dear and precious that I am humbled when they are kind and helpful. I am grateful for all they do and put up with in this world and the labors they must perform. I am thankful I had such a loving father who raised me the best he knew how and I know if he had known the pain he caused me he would have wanted to die because he loved me too much to have done it on purpose. I forgive him and I forgive those who have hurt me in the past. I hope all those who have ever felt the lash of my tongue will be as generous and forgiving.

We all want to plant something beautiful and have it matter to someone. We all have tender spirits who feel every unkind thing done or said. Our spirits feel every sin we commit and every lie we tell takes us further from God. I often tell my kids that you will not surprise Heavenly Father with anything you say or do. First, He's probably heard it before, and second, He already knows. Put the sword down. Put the gauntlet down. Let the battle of the sexes end.

The Official Middle Singles Theme-Song

No One is to Blame-

Howard Jones

You can look at the menu but you just can't eat
You can feel the cushions but you can't have a seat
You can dip your foot in the pool but you can't have a swim
You can feel the punishment but you can't commit the sin
And you want her and she wants you
We want everyone
And you want her and she wants you
No one, no one, no one ever is to blame
You can build a mansion but you just can't live in it
You're the fastest runner but you're not allowed to win
Some break the rules
And live to count the cost
The insecurity is the thing that won't get lost
And you want her and she wants you
We want everyone
And you want her and she wants you
No one, no one, no one ever is to blame
You can see the summit but you can't reach it
It's the last piece of the puzzle but you just can't make it fit
Doctor says you're cured but you still feel the pain
Aspirations in the clouds but your hopes go down the drain
And you want her and she wants you
We want everyone
And you want her and she wants you
No one, no one, no one ever is to blame
No one ever is to blame
No one ever is to blame.

And that's all I have to say about that, because

Ho Jo has already said it all. No?