Why This Blog Will Never, Ever Be Enough

So, we've had this weblog going for well over a month and have had exactly one (1) person out there who found us and responded. (Thank you Suzanne!!!)

We are still optimistic, however. We still believe that this blog will fulfill the full measure of its creation. Having said that, we also are realistic. We know that the problems with Singles in the Church are far and wide, (some of which are only as fixable as LDS Singles are willing to become aware their of disenfranchised position...and then do something about it.) Of course, this would require these same Singles to explore the reality of their situation in full.

We, the writers of this blog, know from experience just how emotionally difficult (and potentially time consuming) this process really can be. We have been discussing the problems and their potential solutions for over four years. This is not the first effort we have made to be heard both locally, and within Church leadership itself.

As you may guess, we are not satisfied with the help we have received thus far. How could we be? There really has been no change in the Singles Program at any level since well before we were old enough to date. (Granted, on-line dating is a so-called new development...but it has such a disparaging success rate that we cannot in good conscience consider it a viable alternative for LDS Singles. (The reasons for this problem is multi-fold, and deserves its own post.))



For anything to change, we must realize that there are several counts against us. First, we are mortal. We will live out our lives with or without love, and then we will die. At some point in our lives, we might give up being frustrated at being alone, and simply resign from the pursuit. We all know people who have done this. It usually happens sometime in certain persons' 40s or 50s. They just get sick and tired of being sick and tired, and they move on to the rest of their lives...having chucked the heavy baggage of desire and need for human intimacy from the opposite sex. This way they can truly "enjoy" their life for a change, with no inconvenient strings attached to that bitter-sweet sensation felt somewhere within the upper ribcage. No longer are they burdened with that grocery-store crush from that anonymous person among the strawberries (so available and yet so unavailable. So physically near... yet so ideologically, religiously, and impossibly far.)

This is where I should insert the lyrics to the song "Desperado" by Don Henley, but I shall pare it down to "You're losin' all you're highs and lows. Ain't it funny how the feelin' goes away?"

Word up. True dat. Touche. (And another good subject for a future post.)

The second count against us is that most singles go inactive. I will not divulge the percentage on this blog, but anyone reading this should ask their leaders what they themselves believe the percentage is. Suffice it to say, the rumors are more than staggering. And because we lose these people, we lose a good portion of our force for change.
(And let's face it, for anyine with even the beginnings of a testimony, it takes true courage to leave the Church. That same courage could have been better spent trying to formulate change within the Program, instead of bailing out on the whole system.) Therefore it is up to those of us who stay; we must muster the courage...or not. Either way, what most of us consider courageous acts of of change, probably don't even begin to hit the radar. I am not suggesting anything like protest, but we need to make ourselves heard and we need to take charge of our "program." I'm not talking about the official Singles Program here.


Rather, I am referring to the program that we create out the intellect and free agency God gave us. This is what it will take, because change from within appears to be speeding along at the pace of the Earth's tectonic plates. (But remember, Church Leadership is not telling us that we can't do more. So why don't we do more? (This is another good question to be explored in a future post. So please, dear reader, we would love your opinion on this.*))

Third, let us not forget, many of us continue to be in denial for several reasons, not the least of which is shame.

Remember, the title of this post is "Why This Blog Will Never, Ever Be Enough." We wish that the whole dysfunctional system that is the LDS Singles Program could be fixed in the walls of this blog or one like it. But, alas, we would deceive ourselves by even hoping for that.

Truth be told, this blog is just one more passing cog in a wheel that rolls far too slow for anyone's comfort. Just one more anonymous click towards potential progress for millions of people, both now and in the future. But, lest we forget, potential progress is not progress. It is potential, and that alone. And just like potential energy, the movement is in the footwork.

So, let us put on our running gear... and run (not walk) toward new goals for a Singles Program of our own choosing. Godspeed.