On Hendrixian Mathematics

Jimi Hendrix wrote several Rock anthems, but his song "If 6 Was 9" sticks out for me these days. Imagine if 6 really were, in fact, 9. All math and measurement would be much different, right? I mean, maybe we should all be going 90 mph instead of 60 on the highway. But, relatively speaking, wouldn't that also mean that we should go 30 mph higher in school zones? Well anyway, I am pretty sure that 6 is 6 and 9 is 9; and I'm happy for it.

But wait. Something similar exists in another corner of popular culture where 30 is 90, 40 is 90, 50 is 90, and so is 60, 70, and 80. In fact, every number above 30 is really 90. What am I referring to? You know it already. I don't have to tell you. Of course, it's the Singles Program of the LDS Church after age 30.

There is little need for me to extrapolate on it. Then again, maybe there is. What I can say with assurance is that the same generation that gave us Jimi Hendrix (the Baby Boomers) are having an "Age Renaissance." And they have some math tricks of their own. They have proven that 40 is the new 30, 50 is the new 40, 60 is the new 50 and so on. People marry (or remarry) late, start third or fourth careers, travel the world, jump into Yoga as a senior citizen, that kind of thing. All in all, it's a healthy trend. And people are living longer. And often happier.

This is not necessarily so in the Mormon crowd. We could learn a few things from our gentile brothers and sisters. Granted, many Boomers follow a far different compass when compared to the value system espoused by typical Latter-day Saints. Some live worldly and enjoy it immensely, without regret or apology. For instance,they may sow their oats after every break up. Should we do that? No. But there are things we should adopt by this most dynamic generation in the history of the world. When something does not work for them, they tend to change it without too much concern about whom they may be surprising, inconveniencing, or upsetting. As a result, they often get what they want. So for instance, they are far more likely to achieve a warm hand to hold during their twilight years than, say, we are. (Mind you, their twilight years tend to begin somewhere after ages 65-70, while ours often rears its head around the ripe old age of 30.)

And if that is true, then what happens to our Middle Single graduates (our45+ crowd, and our senior citizens?) Well, more often than not they grow old, alone…and eventually, they die. They are tolerated by our younger Middle Singles who sometimes get irritated by "old men making moves on me."*** But for the love of Pete, where are these people to go in order to meet ANYONE? They have no program of their own, donch-ya know? (I mean yes, the Middle Singles Program does not exist on paper, but the Senior Singles Program does not exist, period, dot, the end. Is this not so?) (And don't tell me that the official "Singles Program," a catch-all program for anyone from 30 to 101 suffices for this. We all know better.)

***I know, I know. But "Sean Connery gets sexier the older he gets." Right? (I heard this from a 30 year-old woman as she was complaining about old men chasing her around on the dance floor.) (Again, sorry. I couldn't resist. Great topic for another post. Just so you know, I feel for these younger women...but I also feel for these older men, and women.)




As an old man pushing the ancient age of 40 (also known as 90), I have heard the quiet complaints of saints twenty years my senior who, for fear of making an unwanted comment, quietly voice their woes in short, timid brevity. They break my heart. Such an unnecessarily hard road to heaven. Such early emotional death.

That historic little sector of the Boomer generation known as "Hippies" later traded in their lofty naivete and excessive sensory stimulation for other things like retirement stock options and healthier sensory stimulation(s) such as environmental consciousness, or Thai Chi. But as a whole, the entire Boomer generation, of which ex-Hippies are a part, changed again and again right along with their continual pursuit of what they consider "right." Many got there by rugged individuality, a deep sense of inner awareness, and connectedness with self and others. They also got there, consciously or unconsciously, by teamwork. Their sheer numbers have been a critical element of their success (something we share with them.) In any case, they defined and redefined the American marketplace. They simultaneously reestablished and extended what is considered "young." And while they were at it, they created their own lobby, AARP, supposedly the largest in Washington.

We singles could learn from Boomers. For starters, we could adopt their sense of emotional self-awareness by beginning to ask ourselves and each other, "Am I happy with things as they are in the Singles Program?" Why or why not?" If not, what can I do about it? What can we do about it?" From there, we might follow their philosophy in terms of the necessity of change, growth, and interconnectedness. In other words, we could start acting on our findings (and begin using our free agency for a change.)

Let us not forget, good things usually come to those who but ask. But the question here is obviously "What do we really want?"